Hope
by doobug22
Summary: "Hope...If you have it you have everything"


It was 10:35 on a Tuesday night and the day's events had left Toby completely drained. Who knew running security for his ex-girlfriends mom's political campaign could be so demanding…oh wait it's the Hastings…enough said. Channeling what little energy he had left he pulled himself up and made his way to the door of his cabin to lock up and call it a night. Before he could however, he heard the screen door open and the door push in behind the force of what seemed to be a very angry Caleb. Without even a greeting he walked towards the fridge and pulled out a beer and plopped himself in the spot Toby had just resided.

"Uh hey man nice to see you to" Toby said as he sighed in frustration. For some reason he felt like this was going to be a very long night.

There was no response from the brooding man on the couch, he only proceeded to chug the rest of his beer and head towards the kitchen again looking through cabinets while muttering "harder, I need something harder."

"Can I help you locate anything?" By this time Toby had made his way to the lazy chair and was seated comfortably with his arms folded over his chest watching the scene in the kitchen unfold.

"Found it" Caleb said as he pulled out a bottle of vodka he had stored when he was residing at the Cavanaugh's old cabin for a brief period of time. Thank God Toby never cleans this place out.

Without hesitation he ripped off the top and took a long swig enjoying the stinging it left in his throat. Right now he deserved pain.

He took another long swig. "Bro what's wrong?" Another. "You can tell me you know"

But he couldn't because neither one of them had told anyone.

"Does this have something to do with a certain blonde who has made her way back to Rosewood?"

Another long drink and the stinging returned. Only this time it wasn't his throat but his eyes, the telltale sign that tears were threatening to spill over.

Toby sits up and put his elbows to his knees running his hands over his face in a calming manner, "Oh brother, you're still not over her are you?"

Caleb scoffs and for the first time meets Toby's eyes "You ask that like you expect me to ever get over her" a bitter laugh escapes his lips "No, there's no getting over Hanna Marin, even if she's over you she'll continue to haunt your dreams and fuck with your mind"

"Oh dear God" Toby says as his hands move from the calming ministrations to massaging his now throbbing headache. "Look man I don't know all the details but it's been three years since you moved back here and I know her being in town is messing with you, believe me having Spencer here isn't a cake walk for me either, but she's moved on and you need to as well."

Caleb's heart physically constricts as he hears the words "move on". It's something he's been telling himself now for the past 1,095 days since she left. Something which his head has grasped but his heart hasn't caught up with.

"It's just I've never stopped thinking about them" Caleb's eyes are getting watery again and he wonders if he's actually going to break down in front of Toby. "Every day for the past three years from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed all I do is think about them"

Toby's eyes meet Caleb's "Them? What do you mean, them?"

Caleb's head shoots up and his eyes get wide because he can't believe he just let it slip, something they swore they weren't going to tell anyone has now been exposed in his drunkenness.

"I can't" He's speaking frantically. "You can't say...Jesus I need to see Hanna" He stands up and gains his balance, grabs the half drunken bottle of vodka and begins to make his way to the door when a solid body steps in front of him.

"I don't think that's a good idea man. I know her and the girls are staying over at her hotel room to catch up and you showing up at midnight drunk off your ass isn't going to help anyone."

Caleb's reserve comes down and his shoulders visibly slump, his eyes betray him as tears begin to run down his face and the look he gives is so heartbreaking that Toby is reminded of three years ago when he opened the door to find his best friend, suitcase in his hand and nowhere to go.

Toby visibly sighs, "Give me the keys".

The drive to downtown is a good twenty minutes away and as the miles between become fewer and fewer so does any shred of calmness Caleb was holding onto. His hands tightly clutch at the vodka bottle, knuckles turning white at the force. He takes another long sip, the contents in the bottle getting lower and lower, his calmness is coming back as he feels the effects of the alcohol in his system. By this point he's not sure what he's going to say when he sees her, he doesn't even know if he'll be able to coherently form a complete sentence; but that doesn't matter, he just needs to see her, needs to tell her he hasn't forgotten, that he never will.

"Give me that" Toby reaches over and yanks the bottle out of Caleb's firm grasp. "I'm not driving twenty minutes to have you passed out by the time we get there"

The remaining drive passes by in silence and Caleb is pretty sure he's drawn blood by the way his nails are digging into his palm to keep his shaking hands at bay. Finally he sees the neon lights which spell out "The Radley" shining off of the pearlescent building.

Toby pulls up to the front and turns to give his friend a half smile. "What are you going to say?"

The shrugging of shoulders is the only answer he got. "Before you go, who were you referring to back at the house? When you said 'they'? I'm not trying to be nosy it just seemed like it had you really upset".

"You'll know soon enough" Caleb finally responded "Everyone will" and with that he reached for the trucks handle and made his way inside. Before he reached the double doors of the hotel entrance he turned and look at Toby, "well are you coming?"

Not about to miss out on the blowup which was about to ensue, Toby quickly put his truck in park and threw the keys at the valet, quickly jogging to catch up to Caleb who was already past the receptionist and to the elevator.

He caught up just as Caleb stepped in and pushed the button for level 5.

"You know what room she's staying in" Toby said as more of a statement than a question.

"For as long as I've known Hanna whenever she stayed somewhere she always asked for the 5th level and room number 11" Caleb mentally cursed himself, that had been when they were together the numbers 1105 meaning more to her then than they did now.

As the elevator chimed signaling their arrival his uncertainty grew even more. He stepped out on shaky legs and drew in a deep breath before making his way down the hallway to the left where the odd numbered rooms were.

1,3,5, his heart was beating so fast he thought it might work its way out of his chest. 7,9 he could no longer take a full breath and his mouth felt like the Sahara. And finally 11. There it was room number 11, and the chorus of women's laughter he heard on the other side told him he had been right. She was in there. He stood frozen in place willing his cotton mouth to go away and his head to stop spinning.

After a couple of moments Toby tentatively reached a hand out and knocked on the door knowing full well Caleb was in no state to do it himself. The talking on the other side ceased and Caleb nervously ran a hand through his hair as he heard someone approaching.

A tall, slim, brunette answered the door shock clearly evident on her face as she took in the two visitors.

"Spencer" Toby said solemnly.

"Hey Toby" she replied cordially.

She turned her attention towards the man who remained silent. Taking in his appearance she noticed his red rimmed eyes, rumpled shirt, and messy hair which she assumed he tried to fix before showing up here.

"Hi Cal-" she started but was quickly cut off by an annoyed sounding Hanna.

"Spence. Who is it? We didn't order any room service. Tell them to go away."

Her voice. God he missed her voice. Too many nights did he lay in bed thinking about that voice, it had been so long he almost had forgotten what it sounded like.

"Hanna" Spencer gulped unsure of how she was going to handle this encounter. "I think you need to come here." She heard her friend grunt and her footsteps grew closer and closer until she was standing right there.

He knew all along it would be hard to see her but he didn't think his heart would completely shatter at her sight. She looked good, really good. Her platinum hair fell in waves just past her shoulders (he'd always liked her hair long) and she was dressed in old sweats without a stitch of makeup on. He couldn't remember a time when she ever looked more beautiful.

Actually he could.

Memories came flooding back of her in their kitchen with a slightly swollen stomach making breakfast in the morning before he left for work. Coming home to her napping in their bed where 9 times out of 10 he'd strip out of his work clothes and join her because she was too cute to resist. The way her face lit up the first time she felt a kick, how she jumped up from the couch and ran to his office placing the hand which wasn't holding his phone on her bump. He had been so excited that he dropped the phone the minute he felt the tiny flutter on his palm and enveloped her in the tightest hug she could bear.

Now the memories turn dark.

Memories of coming home to her bleeding and unresponsive on the bathroom floor. Of being rushed to the hospital where after 3 hours they came to get him in the waiting room telling him there was nothing they could do. Coming into the room to a stoic Hanna who just kept muttering "I'm sorry" over and over and over again. Before they had left the nurses asked if they had wanted to know the sex of the baby. Hanna simply shook her head no, where Caleb gently pulled the nurse aside and was brought to another round of tears as she revealed it to him.

Caleb's fists involuntarily clench at his sides at the thought. And the reason for him being here, in front of Hanna's hotel room, resurfaces as he feels the anger inside him rising up.

"WHY?" he yells at her, the commotion bringing both Emily and Aria to the door behind Spencer.

He could see Hanna's resolve breaking as her face contorted into pain at his outburst.

"Why did you leave?" his voice was quieter now but she still didn't answer as tears threatened to fall. "Did you think I blamed you?" Silence. "Did you think we couldn't get through it?" She lowered her head afraid to even look at him at this point.

He's getting frustrated now at her lack of answers and so he says something which he knows he probably shouldn't in front of all their friends but at this point his logic has been thrown out the window.

"Not a day goes by I don't think about you...or her" Hanna's head snaps up and her hands fly over her mouth as a gut wrenching sob makes its way from her body. All three of the girls and Toby aren't sure what to make of the scene unfolding in front of them.

"She was a girl?" Hanna finally speaks after a couple of seconds and the pain in her voice is so evident it breaks Caleb's heart all over again.

"Yea" He says wiping at his eyes, "she was a girl." At this Hanna violently flings herself at Caleb in a fit of sobs clutching his shirt as apologies fall from her lips.

"I'm sorry" she cries "It's my fault…it's all my fault."

"Shhhh" he soothes her "you can't blame yourself" his voice cracks "she's in a better place now."

"I want her back" Hanna whimpers into his shoulder "I want our baby back" and the heaviness of her statement brings them both to tears again. She hears the collective gasps of her friends who have by now have caught on to what they were saying and after a few minutes she feels Spencer's hand come to rest on her back gently rubbing soothing circles as she continues to cry.

After a while Caleb pulls her from his embrace and holds her at arm's length. "I want to give her a name" he says with a quivering voice. "And I want her to have a proper burial." He clears his throat. "She deserves that."

 _3 Days Later…_

Guests begin to clear out of Rosewood Cemetery.

Hanna and Caleb had had a lot of support today, their friends and family all gathered around them as they laid their little girl to rest.

Now it was just Hanna and Caleb standing in front of the white marble headstone which read:

 **Hope Ashley Rivers**

 **June 2017-June 2017**

" **Mommy and Daddy's little princess"**

"I imagine she would've looked just like you" Caleb whispers quietly after a few moments.

Hanna turns to him with tears in her eyes and although he knows he shouldn't Caleb reaches out and puts a hand to her cheek, wiping away those that remain. His hand then travels from her cheek to her left hand where his thumb softly circles her engagement ring.

"You're going to be an amazing mom one day" and the words almost choke him as they make their way out. The thought of Hanna having kids with anyone else but him puts his mind in a bad place.

Knowing his time with her has reached its end, Caleb leans in and places one final kiss to her forehead. "I'll always love you Hanna Marin" and before he can give it another thought he turns and makes his way to his parked car, tears falling from his eyes at the realization that he's had to let the two most important girls in his life go. And he wonders if his heart will ever be the same.

He wasn't expecting any visitors. Not after a day like today.

So the knock on his door, which jarred him from his nap, took him by surprise.

He kicks the blanket off of him and sits up on the couch, rubbing his hands over his tired face and through his disheveled hair. Walking towards the door his stomach grumbles, making him hope whoever has interrupted his slumber was at least kind enough to bring some food.

Swinging open the door he was stunned to see a blotchy-faced, teary-eyed Hanna but even more surprising was that she was clutching a suitcase tightly in her left hand.

"Han-" he started but was cut off by her raspy voice.

"I thought about what you said" her eyes were darting around refusing to meet his own.

His silence told her he wasn't exactly sure what she meant, so she continued.

"About being an amazing mom one day"

He visibly gulped. He wasn't sure where she was going with this. He heard her take in a deep breath and her eyes finally met his.

"And I realized" deep breath, "when you said that" another breath, "that while I want that, to uh be a mom, I don't want that if I'm not with you" There were no tears in her eyes as she spoke those words and she waited a minute for Caleb to process what she just said.

When he still didn't say anything after a few moments she spoke up again, "I know we have a lot to figure out and a lot of healing to do" she subconsciously started toying with the necklace she was wearing, a nervous habit she had always had. "And I know me leaving you" she paused visibly pained by the memory "I know me leaving you is unforgiveable and I completely understand if you slam this door in my face and never want to see me again but if there's a part of you that still wants this…"

She's interrupted by his hands on her face pulling her in to him until their faces are mere centimeters apart. Her eyes widen and her breath hitches at their close proximity, she's been craving his touch for so long now.

"I've never stopped wanting this" he whispers and that's all it takes for her face to break out into a gorgeous smile as she leans up to capture his lips with her own.

They both moan at the contact, having been deprived of each other for so long, and Caleb's hands travel into her hair as their kiss becomes less innocent. Hanna pushes her way inside, the suitcase long forgotten as they make their way to the couch, Caleb falling first and pulling Hanna on top of him. Caleb breaks the kiss to stare up into her eyes wondering if this is actually happening and praying to God he won't wake up and find it all a dream.

He's running his fingers over her face, taking in all the features which he's missed over the past three years, her sapphire eyes, her rosy lips, and that cute little freckle which is barely visible on the left side of her nose.

"Let's take a trip somewhere" she says after a few minutes, her fingers aimlessly tracing patterns on his chest.

"Myanmar?" he jokes and he catches her hand just before it was about to flick him in the nose. He laughs out loud and leans down to kiss her on the mouth.

"I'm serious" she chastises him but the smile doesn't drop from her lips "I want to go someplace where we can let loose, have fun and get tan."

Suddenly an idea pops into his head and his smile softens as he contemplates telling her.

"What about Vegas?" he finally asks

"Vegas? Why Vegas?" she's utterly confused and he thinks it's adorable

He shrugs his shoulders, "I don't know…people do a lot of fun things in Vegas"

"Like?" She asks, because her idea of a vacation is somewhere warm and tropical and definitely not Vegas.

"Like gamble and go to all those shows and stay in fancy resorts and…get married" he says the last part kind of mumbled but he knows she heard him when her head flies up and she narrows her eyes at him.

"Caleb Rivers are you insinuating that you want us to elope at some random drive by chapel where we pay $40 bucks and get married by Elvis?" her face is filled with unbelief but with a hint of amusement behind it.

"Or Marilyn Monroe…whichever one is working that night" he winks and gives her a smirk letting her know he's joking. Her face gets serious for a moment and her brows pull together likes she's contemplating something.

"Okay" she says all of a sudden

"Okay what?"

"Let's go to Vegas and get married" and she says it so calmly that he looks at her wearily, wondering if she's being completely serious.

"Yea?" he asks "You sure about that?"

"I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life" she says sincerely and yelps when she's suddenly lifted in the air and thrown over Caleb's shoulder.

"Caleb what are you doing?" she shouts through a fit of giggles as he proceeds down the hall to his bedroom where he lightly tosses her on the bed.

"Celebrating with the future Mrs. Rivers" he smiles as he begins to toe off his shoes

And before she can even protest, she did just break up with her fiancé mere hours ago, Caleb whips off his shirt and any coherent thought she just had went out the window as she took in his muscular upper body.

"Is that okay?" he asks as he begins to slide both his jeans and boxers to the floor, smiling as he notices her light blue eyes had turned a shade darker and she was subconsciously biting her lip.

She finally pulls her eyes away from the lower half of his body to meet his eyes "What did you say?" she asks because for the life of her she can't remember.

His smirk is a full on grin, "that's what I thought" and it's with those words that he claims her mouth with his and sets out to prove his love for her over and over again, all night long.

 _4 months later…_

Toby notices the package on his doorstep as soon as he gets home from a long day's work. Wracking his brain for any recent purchases which he concludes he didn't make, he picks up the oblong box and weighs its contents in hopes of guessing what's inside. Giving up, he takes his set of keys and slices through the brown cardboard noticing an envelope tucked beside a bottle of unopened vodka. Eyebrows raised in confusion, he carefully opens the envelope where he finds a note with two pictures tucked inside. His eyes light up as he begins reading.

 _Toby,_

 _To replace the one I drank that night and to thank you for driving. My life finally feels complete._

 _Love you man._

 _Caleb_

Toby stares down at the two pictures in his hand. On the right a shot of Hanna and Caleb sticking up their ring fingers showing off their silver and platinum wedding bands, the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign lighting up the background. This picture he'd expected but it was the picture to the left which made his smile widen into a full out grin. To the left was a black and white blurry snapshot of an oval shaped blob with the words "Baby Rivers" in the right hand corner. He can't help but to laugh, "They sure don't waste their time" he says to himself out loud, genuinely happy for his friends. Noticing more writing on the letter he looks down.

 _P.S. I got my happy ending. You deserve yours too._

 _Spencer Hastings_

 _2645 Lisburn Rd._

 _Washington, DC 20460_

He smiles and shakes his head as he walks towards the fridge and hangs the two photos in the center. Before he can give it a second thought he grabs the slip of paper and the bottle of vodka, opening it and taking a swig for courage, before he heads towards the door with car keys in hand.

He had a long drive ahead of him.

 _The End._


End file.
